That Twitchy Feeling

July 8, 2012 at 9:16 am (Writing) (, , )

I’m between projects at the moment.

Or, more accurately, I’m between some projects and between rounds of some others. I’m at a point where I’ve done as much as I can on some things and just need to wait, and where it’s really not a good idea to forge ahead into the next, for all sorts of grown-up, mature reasons. (Being a grown-up? Kind of sucks) I don’t want to burn out, and I do need to keep myself ready for when those other projects hit their next phase, and probably the reason that’s most convincing, I have to pack everything I own, which I definitely won’t do if I’m obsessively writing.

That would make for a very bad moving day.

So for the past week, I have done nothing. Genuinely nothing. I haven’t even written down a single idea. I go to work, I come home to bake alive in my apartment, and I haven’t even been reading real books, I’ve been reading fanfiction. And working my way through somewhat alarming amounts of television with my brother. I haven’t picked up one of my projects to give it a read through, despite serious temptation. I haven’t dived into editing my most recent draft because really, I need to sit on it for another few weeks before my brain can fully make sense of it all. I even know what my next project is going to be and what I need to do to plan for it, but I’m not doing it.

(If I’m honest, part of that is because the planning involves rereading a twelve hundred page book that made me want to kill large numbers of people in high school.)

For the first couple of days, it was a nice break. No drafts, no edits, no read throughs, no oh-my-God-the-world-hates-me-why-do-I-have-to-write-these-synopses.

And then I started getting twitchy.

Do you ever get that feeling?

It starts somewhere in the back of your school and before you even realize it, you’re looking for a pen and a piece of scratch paper, and you don’t even know what you’re going to write yet, but dammit, you just want to write! And you sternly remind yourself that you’re “on a break”, preferably NOT Ross and Rachel style, and you slap your hand to make your clutching fingers drop the pen, and you look for a book to distract you. But then there’s the twitch in the middle of the night, the one that wakes you from half-remembered dreams and leaves you scrabbling for the pen and paper you keep on your nightstand just for this reason, and in the morning you wake up feeling rather guilty. And then you look at the scrawled mess on the tablet and you can’t decide whether or not it’s a relief that you clearly didn’t A) turn on a light, B)put on your glasses, or C) open your damn eyes.

Then it gets worse, and you start writing down your five item grocery list not because you’re afraid you’ll forget something, but because you just want to be writing anything that badly. You even start listing out all the reasons you’re taking this mini-vacation from your craft and vocation and love of your life, trying to remind yourself that they’re very good reasons, they’re important reasons, and why is that character’s name and description sneaking into your reminder not to burn yourself out?

And I have a feeling it’s going to get even worse, because like I said, it’s only been a week.

Just seven days.

It’s now the 8th of July and I told myself I’m not allowed to start a new project until I am fully unpacked in my new apartment…in the beginning of September.

(sorry, that’s me swearing at my own idiocy)

So when that twitch comes, when that desperate need to write anything even if it’s not remotely view-worthy takes over, what do YOU do?

Until next time~

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